Life Lesson #3

Voice of Seth Rogen: So, what's been up man? Been a while..

Me: You know exactly what I've been up to. Why are you asking?

Voice of Seth Rogen: Asking questions makes people seem interested.

Me: (Exhale) Ok, Seth. I've been working really hard for little money trying to get my feet back on the ground. I've been freelancing web des (Seth interrupts)

Voice of Seth Rogen: Oh! That's right! (Seth laugh)....Straight outta Compton a crazy Webmaster named J-Dub (Me interrupting)

Me: Don't do that.

Voice of Seth Rogen: Do what?

Me: Don't parody that song. The last thing I need is Easy-E's voice in my head haunting me. And, I've never been to Compton. I'm not straight outta it.

Voice of Seth Rogen: RELAX MAN! Easy-E is FINE! Right now he's fuckin' hos and poppin' bottles of Crystal at Thug Mansion. He wants no part of this. He's dead! NOT-A-GHOST. NOT-A-VOICE! You've been watching WAY TOO MUCH Supernatural (Easy-E interrupts)

Voice of Easy-E: Actually, Seth, while I appreciate your glorified vision of my afterlife, I can in fact hear you, and I can in fact join in. You see, as a celestial being (me interrupting)

Me: What. The. Fuck.

Voice of Easy-E: Please, show me some respect. I don't visit just anyone. As I was saying, the afterlife is a collection of consciousnesses existing in peace and harmony. We never really leave, and we can in fact interact with other consciousnesses in the "real-world". Carl Jung postulated all things are connected and our unconscious selves introduce the things we need in our life so that that we can overcome challenges, both spiritual and mental, while ultimately achieving the most peaceful existence possible for ourselves.

Voice of Seth Rogen: No, I'm pretty sure that was Freud.

Voice of Easy-E: Would you like me to bust a spectral cap in your bitch ass, Seth?

Voice of Seth Rogen: (Seth laughing nervously)

Me: Whoa. Let's everyone back the fuck up!

Voice of Seth Rogen and Easy-E: I hate Onyx.

Me: Stop!

Voice of Seth Rogen and Easy-E: A crazy mutha-fucka named J-Dub....

Me: Don't do it. Just don't fucking do it.

Voice of Seth Rogen: Easy....I gotta say, man. HUGE fan. I mean, big!

Voice of Easy-E: Well thank you, Seth. I must admit the same.

Me: Why the fuck is Easy-E so well spoken?

Voice of Seth Rogen and Easy-E: Life Lesson #3. Easy-E ain't no bitch.

Me: Great.