Life Lesson #5

Me: (Counting change) Ten...twenty...thirty...forty....fifty....(Seth interrupts)

Voice of Seth Rogen: What are you doing?

Me: What does it look like I'm doing?

Voice of Seth Rogen: Counting change. Dimes, to be exact. Those aren't the kind of dimes you should be counting, brohemian rhapsody...

Me: These are the kinds of dimes I should be counting if I want to buy groceries, Seth.

Voice of Seth Rogen: Man, are you in some kind of an underground college or something? How are you ever gonna count those sweet-ass Brazilian dime pieces if you're broke like a mofucker? I mean, can't you get some kind of a gig to hold you down while you work on these websites and shit?

Me: That's the plan, Seth. You're observant, funny, and rich too, so please leave the life lesson out of this shit.

Voice of Seth Rogen: Hey man! I haven't always been rich! I used to count change to buy beer and weed. I know the struggle. (Seth starts to sing Nas) "Grindin' hittin' Brazilian dimes from behind...."

Me: Two forty, two fifty, two sixty....(Seth interrupts)

Voice of Seth Rogen: What are you gonna buy anyway, dude? Ramen? How old are you, like 16?

Me: Two seventy, two eighty, (Seth interrupts)

Voice of Seth Rogen: Seriously, man, can't you get like, some drugs from someone, or something? I mean, c'm(NAS interrupting)

Voice of NAS: Nah mean?

Me: What? 

Voice of NAS: Nah mean?

Me: Oh, he's multi-talented, and does a great NAS impression. Congrats, Seth. You're the greatest chubby guy on earth. 

Voice of Seth Rogen: That's not me, dude!

Voice of NAS: Nah mean?

Me: Oh....shit...what is reality?

Voice of NAS: A collection of images pulled from our collective consciousnesses and reassembled in such a way that everyone gets a chance to experience a version of their walking, talking, and living dreams. Nah mean?

Me: Lost Tapes is my favorite. I know people probably don't say that to you too often, but I'm wei(NAS interrupting)

Voice of NAS: Weird? I noticed. You good.

Me: I admire your ability to be open about your ever evolving perspective on life and spirit(NAS interrupting)

Voice of NAS: I know. I'm in your head, God.

Me: Can I ask you a question?

Voice of NAS: One. One, question, dude.

Me: Kelis. Did her milkshake (NAS interrupting)

Voice of NAS: No doubt. You know that.

Me: Yes.....

Voice of NAS: Nah mean?

Me: Yes....wait...Seth is awfully quiet.

Voice of Seth Rogen: Life Lesson #5. If NAS is talking, you listen.