Voice of Seth Rogen: So...how longs it been? Since you've done the stinky lambada...you know...skeet skeet?
Me: Shut up, Seth.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Seriously dude. C'mon, you can tell me.
Me: I've been taking a new approach to things.
Voice of Seth Rogen: What the fuck does that even mean?
Me: Love is more than sex. I mean, sex is more than love. I mean, sex is more than sex.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Wow, just when I thought I couldn't be more confused, too.
Me: Seriously. Shut the fuck up.
Voice of Seth Rogen: I feel like we're friends now, so I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. You're absolutely right!
Me: What?
Voice of Seth Rogen: Sex is more than just sex. It's a release, and judging by how hard you're gritting your teeth lately, you need a big one. I mean, you'll be gumming pizza in two weeks if we don't do something about this.
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Can I help you?
Voice of Seth Rogen: Wow. Look at the tits...
Me: Venti Iced Black. Please.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Venti Iced Black. So decadent. So exciting!
Me: Shut up.
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: What?
Me: Nothing.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Here's your shot dude! Go for it! Tell her she has a cute something. Girls love that shit!
Me: Shut up, Seth.
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Sure you don't want anything in this? Maybe a little sugar?
Voice of Seth Rogen: Tell her you want her to cream in it....
Me: No, that's fine.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Tell her dude! Do it!
Me: You have a really cute butt. (internal voice: What the fuck. Butt? I hate me.)
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Awwww! Really? Thank you! I've been using the new "Twerk with Miley" DVD's. Totally working.
Me: Really?
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: (Giggling) No silly. That's sarcasm.
Me: Oh. Right. I knew that. Ha!
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: You're cute.
Me: Really?
Voice of Seth Rogen: Don't blow this dude...I swear I'll kick your ass....ask for HER NUMBER!!!!
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: And funny. How about I give you my number and you text me when I get off at 9?
Me: (Nervous) Yea, ok. Awesome. That's great. 9am or pm?
Voice of Seth Rogen: Dude...shut the fuck up. Obviously, it's PM!
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: PM! Silly! Tonight!
Me: Right, yea...just kidding!
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Here's your EXCITING black coffee....(giggles)
Voice of Seth Rogen: See, you are boring.
Me: Shut-up, Seth.
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: What?
Me: Ummm...I mean...ouch. Shit! I burnt my hand. Some of the coffee spilled. Hehehe...(nervous laugh)
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: It's iced?
Me: Right. Yea. But, it's REALLY cold!
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Hahaha! So funny!
Me: Yea...ha! I try. What's your name? You know, so I can call you something besides "Butt Girl" when I text you?
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Cheri. And, you can call me whatever you want.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Yes......oh yes.....
Cheri: Gimme your hand. (Writes down her number on top)
Me: Ok, Cheri! I'll text you at 9!
Cheri: Wait...what's your name? So I can call you something other than "Venti Iced Black" when you text.
Me: Justin.
Cheri: Ok, Justin. Be careful with that coffee, wouldn't want anymore burns! (Wink)
Me: Will do. See ya!
Voice of Seth Rogen: GREAT JOB, dude! See? I'm your fucking master! You're gonna beat that pu(Me interrupting)
Me: Shut up, Seth.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Life Lesson #6. Seth Rogen SLAYS THE PUS.....
Me: Shut up, Seth.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Seriously dude. C'mon, you can tell me.
Me: I've been taking a new approach to things.
Voice of Seth Rogen: What the fuck does that even mean?
Me: Love is more than sex. I mean, sex is more than love. I mean, sex is more than sex.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Wow, just when I thought I couldn't be more confused, too.
Me: Seriously. Shut the fuck up.
Voice of Seth Rogen: I feel like we're friends now, so I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. You're absolutely right!
Me: What?
Voice of Seth Rogen: Sex is more than just sex. It's a release, and judging by how hard you're gritting your teeth lately, you need a big one. I mean, you'll be gumming pizza in two weeks if we don't do something about this.
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Can I help you?
Voice of Seth Rogen: Wow. Look at the tits...
Me: Venti Iced Black. Please.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Venti Iced Black. So decadent. So exciting!
Me: Shut up.
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: What?
Me: Nothing.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Here's your shot dude! Go for it! Tell her she has a cute something. Girls love that shit!
Me: Shut up, Seth.
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Sure you don't want anything in this? Maybe a little sugar?
Voice of Seth Rogen: Tell her you want her to cream in it....
Me: No, that's fine.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Tell her dude! Do it!
Me: You have a really cute butt. (internal voice: What the fuck. Butt? I hate me.)
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Awwww! Really? Thank you! I've been using the new "Twerk with Miley" DVD's. Totally working.
Me: Really?
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: (Giggling) No silly. That's sarcasm.
Me: Oh. Right. I knew that. Ha!
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: You're cute.
Me: Really?
Voice of Seth Rogen: Don't blow this dude...I swear I'll kick your ass....ask for HER NUMBER!!!!
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: And funny. How about I give you my number and you text me when I get off at 9?
Me: (Nervous) Yea, ok. Awesome. That's great. 9am or pm?
Voice of Seth Rogen: Dude...shut the fuck up. Obviously, it's PM!
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: PM! Silly! Tonight!
Me: Right, yea...just kidding!
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Here's your EXCITING black coffee....(giggles)
Voice of Seth Rogen: See, you are boring.
Me: Shut-up, Seth.
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: What?
Me: Ummm...I mean...ouch. Shit! I burnt my hand. Some of the coffee spilled. Hehehe...(nervous laugh)
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: It's iced?
Me: Right. Yea. But, it's REALLY cold!
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Hahaha! So funny!
Me: Yea...ha! I try. What's your name? You know, so I can call you something besides "Butt Girl" when I text you?
Voice of girl at Starbucks' counter: Cheri. And, you can call me whatever you want.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Yes......oh yes.....
Cheri: Gimme your hand. (Writes down her number on top)
Me: Ok, Cheri! I'll text you at 9!
Cheri: Wait...what's your name? So I can call you something other than "Venti Iced Black" when you text.
Me: Justin.
Cheri: Ok, Justin. Be careful with that coffee, wouldn't want anymore burns! (Wink)
Me: Will do. See ya!
Voice of Seth Rogen: GREAT JOB, dude! See? I'm your fucking master! You're gonna beat that pu(Me interrupting)
Me: Shut up, Seth.
Voice of Seth Rogen: Life Lesson #6. Seth Rogen SLAYS THE PUS.....
